The First "Not a Fan" Reflection

Day 1

My first day did not go according to the intended outline of journal. I didn't sit down to do my journal entry in the morning. I am reading Daniel right now and want to focus on that. So, I focused on that instead of the "not a fan" journal...rather than doing both. I could have done both. I kind of wish I would have.

I did all of the reflecting and writing at the end of the day. I read what it asked for. I meditated for about 5 minutes, just as it suggested. One major was that my relationship with Jesus is imbalanced. I do not maintain all of the spiritual disciplines I am supposed to in order to call myself a FULLY devoted follower. I am on the way. I am making progress. I pray more than I used to. I read scripture a whole lot more than I used to. I, however, do not spend enough time alone with him, just listening and talking with him. My alone time is spent in the Word, with an agenda. I need to slow down and listen.

My other takeaway came from the meditation exercise. I saw Jesus eyes. Sad. Looking at me with intense sincerity. He called me by name and repeated three times his words from Luke. "Deny yourself. Take up your cross. Follow me." Hearing that three time forced me to focus on the order. First, he said "deny yourself," then, "take up your cross," and finally, "follow me."

The footnotes in my study Bible talk about denying oneself, but not as much about taking up your own cross. His cross was his burden. That must mean my cross is mine. What burden has God given me to carry for his sake? For the sake of his people?

Danee and I talked about this as we shared each other's responses. It was great. I am looking forward to further reflection, revelation, and surrender.

Where are you in your journal?