I find life very amusing sometimes. I was journaling a couple of days worth and felt really connected with God. Yeah that's right I said a couple of days. I know, I know, I was the one who said that it is really helpful to do the journal as it is suggested because we all will get more out of it. Well I goofed. Anyway, so there I was really connecting with God right, as I started with the tail end of day five. The reflection of day five seemed quite difficult for me. I couldn't for the life of me think of anything that I needed to confess to Jesus for. I closed my eyes and tried to think back through the day to see if anything I did was sinful. NOTHING! I was feeling pretty good about that.
Well the warm fuzzy feeling of my self righteousness started to wane pretty quickly as I started going through day six. The funny thing is, that had I done day six as I was supposed to I don't think that this would have been as evident to me. After I had gone through the entire day in approx. 20 min I realized something about my day. In spite of the fact that I feel more in step with Christ right now in my life than possibly ever before, I was extremely self centered. It became evident that almost every one of my answers was one that cooled my interest in Him.
Christ calls us to always be in prayer. As I woke up today the last thing I thought of doing was to pray, I was too tired. It seems quite interesting to me that if He lives in me than shouldn't I ALWAYS be thinking of HIM. I think He wants that for us for obvious reasons but life gets busy, or stressful, or we're too tired. The actuality of it is, that Christ lives in us so that we can go through those moments of life with Him. Life with Him is true life as He designed it for us. He wants to be part of our tiredness, or stress, or our non-faith-based places of work, or our frustrations of life. How are we supposed to keep the fire of the Holy Spirit in our lives if everything we do is the exact opposite force and cools our interests in Him?
My prayer tonight is that I can wake up in the morning invigorated by the presence of Christ throughout my day. That every step I take tomorrow is "in step" with Christs'. I pray that for all of you guys as well.
One thing that really stuck out for me in Phil's sermon yesterday, was how we tend to feel guilty for not including God in our everyday life, for not always being aware of His presence. I liked how he compared how an athlete practices a lot to be profficient in the sport that they play, so that it becomes second nature over time. I have spent a lot of time feeling guilty for the times it hasn't come naturally for me to pray or to even think of God throughout my busy day. It really comes down to disciplining myself to take that time alone with God until it becomes a habit and eventually something I can't do without. Thanks for sharing Chris. I am liking this blog.
ReplyDeleteSo, I really slacked off on this last week. But, I am all caught up now. I finally got to days six and seven. I think part of the reason I procrastinated was that I was intimidated by your post and sharing at group. I was afraid of coming face to face with the same reality. In the end, I was surprised to find I was "warmer" than I thought I would come out. My warming actions are small and spread out. They are kind of like blips on the radar. I didn't realize that there were so many blips until I listed them.
ReplyDeleteNow, before I come across sounding all self-righteous or like I have my act together, I am not saying I have all the blips I should. Far from it. This exercise talked about habits. It did not address those moments where, in our neglect, we choose a behavior that is not in step with Christ. My temper has been getting the best of me lately. I often struggle with listening for God's voice. I too often fail to act on promptings from the Holy Spirit. These aren't habits, but they certainly cool my relationship.
In my reflection, I found that my cooling habits are rooted in selfishness. I often rely on myself or turn to others before I turn to Jesus, especially when there is a problem to solve.
To be a fully devoted follower, I probably ought to let him lead, don't you think? Wow. How's that for revelation?