So I got the big packet in the mail while we were on vacation. It comes every July. The 10x12 envelope, branded with NHA's logo and the name of my beloved school. Inside? The calendar for the upcoming year and a form letter containing the all-important salary and bonus information.
Usually, I know what's coming, how I fared, and have had time to process. This year, no information was shared before the arrival of the all-important envelope. I forced myself to read through the universally-applicable nature of the letter and ignore the boldface type pulling my eyeballs down the page.
When I finally got to the magic number, it was equivalent to 50% less than the lowest compensation I have ever received from NHA (minus my transition year from dean to teacher). My initial reaction was less than Biblical. While I refrained from vocalizing the words that were swimming through my mind, I was confronted with a real conflict of priorities.
So, gut-check time set in about ten minutes after I seriously thought about sending a letter to my boss for a "help me understand" conversation. I decided to check my email (work and personal) as a means to keep myself from stewing. I don't know if it was reading emails from Phil, Dalton, and Dave and thinking about the ways I serve through the ministries they oversee, if it was just God's still small voice, or if it was a combination of these things, but I quickly settled down and said aloud (in an empty room at 11:00 pm), "you can't serve both God and money." This came so shortly after I said to Danee, "I have never felt so insulted and unappreciated in my entire career."
Perspective is everything. Who do I work for? For who's approval to I strive? How is His approval measured? What compensation does he offer?
Honestly, right now (and I imagine from now on) I don't even care what the bottom line says. I have been given everything I need from "him who is able to do more than [I] can ever hope or imagine."
My peace isn't in the "be grateful for what you have, lots of people don't have a job, that's more of a raise than others get" kind of worldly thinking. My peace comes from the reminder I got tonight that I don't work for man or for myself. The more I look to men for the measure of my worth, the more I limit myself to this earth. To truly seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, I must honestly and fully work for the King.
Tony Danza! What other tv show questions do you got? I'll take em all down baby! Oh...... you mean between your school and God. I get it, good one James. See, even when your frustrated you can still be witty.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great question, of which could be met with the simplest of answers. Obviously its easier said than done.
Trust me I know and I'm my own boss.
It seems as though James, you answered your own question. Certainly God is aligning you an He together in so many aspects of your life. It's fun to watch and experience. Peace!